The Boundaries of War and Civilian Life: A Dialogue That Cannot Be Avoided
You know, I will never be young again.
Why do you say that? You're young now, you're 32, you're a soldier who can proudly wear his rank when he changes out of jeans and a sweatshirt.
I have three injuries and two of my best childhood friends died in this war. I don’t trust my neighbors because when I come back from vacation, they hide in their apartments.
People can be different. And you know this very well.
I know. But it doesn’t change anything. I sleep poorly, and when I tell some civilian friends about it, they advise me to drink whiskey or cognac. But I don’t want that. I just want to sleep normally.
Maybe I should find you a therapist so you can talk about your sleep problems?
No, I don’t want to. I know what they’ll say - take some pills and eliminate the stress factor. I wonder how they imagine eliminating the stress factor. I used to like interesting people, but now, when they suggest that, it just irritates me.
I understand you.
You understand. But a psychologist won’t understand.
What if we find one who does understand?
Are you tired of listening to me already?
No, I’m not tired. I just want to help, but I don’t have enough skills.
I just need your understanding that I haven’t lost my mind. That’s all.
You definitely haven’t lost your mind)
That’s great. So what were you saying about starting to read books? Which one?
How about "Freedom" by Jünger? Huh?
Sure. But you’ll definitely listen to what I read.
I will listen.
And give me some pills to help me sleep because I’m really annoyed by the crickets outside.
We are a complex generation that some civilians will never understand or accept. On the other hand, some of us won’t live to have a full interaction with civilians. Those who do will have to adapt. And it will be a two-way process - from the environment and from the veterans themselves. Will it work? God knows, time will tell. But without dialogues, nothing will happen. No one can read minds, so we need to draw boundaries with words through our mouths. In the format - this creates discomfort for me, while that calms me down. We have a lot of work ahead of us. And 'us' - I mean everyone. Because the civilian world with a victorious telethon devoid of news that can disturb society is uninteresting to us. What’s interesting is something entirely different.
It hurts that such conversations exist because it means that distrust hasn’t gone anywhere. On the other hand, it’s wonderful when people believe in at least someone who is close. Because without support, it’s very hard to stand, especially for a long time. Therefore, the concrete pillars in the form of understanding eyes need to be somehow nurtured and held together, or we will fall apart. And inside, we must not lose balance because falling will hurt a lot.
*The dialogue is published with the consent of all participants.